Let me give you some advice about talking toddlers to restaurants. Don’t take them!. Leave them at home, get a babysitter to watch them. Why do you want to bring toddlers to a restaurant? They are just going to make a mess. They are going to scream, shout, bang spoons on the the table (assuming you can get them to sit for that long), and make you and everyone around you absolutely miserable.
Call me a hypocrite, but I take my kids to restaurant’s. I don’t do it because I want to sit there having a conversation with my twin two year old girls. Although we do have small conversations, but most of the time they are waving at stranger. I go to restaurants because I am very lazy. I do not feel like scrubbing the yogurt off the floor in the kitchen, wiping down the walls that are covered with spaghetti sauce, and cleaning all the dirty dishes. Sure it is a bit more expensive to eat out, but by the time they get home they will be exhausted. I can sing them a kick song and they’re off to bed (My voice isn’t that good, they probably fall asleep with boredom or agony).
It can be difficult, when it comes to choosing restaurant’s. I tried to bring them to play at Mcdonald’s. However, having an eight year old kid literally try to pull my two year old up a play structure does not appeal to me. It seems to me that the children who play in Mcdonald’s are the ones where the parents have simply given up (no wonder the playground locks from the outside).
I usually go to pizza pita. Its a large Kosher Pizza place off the side of Decarie. I am very familiar with the place, and the owner (a long time friend) came by and took some pictures of my twins for his website. I figured for the mess I leave him every time, I don’t mind a couple pictures on his website. The babies are satisfied with ketchup, and some form of food underneath the ketchup. Of course, I can’t have a full meal with my twins without at least one person saying ‘twins? Are those twins?’ C’mon! Can’t you see I’m trying to have a relaxing meal with my twin two year olds?!
OK, I guess eating at restaurant’s isn’t that bad, and I may be exaggerating BUT I would suggest avoiding any of the ‘fancier’ type of restaurant’s. Do you think your children really care about the silverware? They would much rather be sitting on the floor at home, running mashed potatoes through their hair. The bottom line: if you want something different, order pizza! Or if you’re to lazy take your kids to a restaurant but be warned, it’s at your own risk.
I’m going a little bit off topic here. I would love to discuss our lovely city, and their incredible way of showing the public how they define ‘public transport’. More then once I have been refused while trying to get onto an STM bus. I rarely take the bus but when I do it is because of really bad weather. I was standing in the pouring rain, and the bus driver looks at me, and sped off. This wasn’t the first time. I pretty much gave up on buses (although I did write a letter to the STM , and promptly was told that I’m allowed on the bus, surprise!) so I decided to try to take the metro.
Once again the STM treated me generously. This time I was ‘bumping’ the stroller down the stairs (if I’m on my own, I don’t have much of a choice), and the man in the ticket booth came out and said “you can’t go down the stairs unless someone helps you” . That’s right I am not allowed to bump my stroller down the stairs, and a complete stranger has to volunteer to help me. The STM ticket booth guy was also ensuring that he did his job, by doing nothing, which seems to be a regular thing among STM employees. Once in awhile I will take the metro but I’ll do my best to avoid it. I would rather break my back shoving a double stroller through snowbanks all the way home, than have to deal with the STM.
I apologize if this particular blog article has been a bit on the angrier side. To be honest, I am a bit upset knowing that I will have to suck it up, and shove my way through snowstorms for the next several months. However, It is good exercise and I’ve been sleeping much better. I enjoy every moment I spend with the twins. It’s exhausting, but hey how else can I come up with new comedy material almost every day! Next time your driving in your car, with your heating seats or comfortably riding one of the jam packed STM buses that shows up once a month, and you see an overweight man shoving a double stroller up the Decarie expressway. Please do me a huge favour? Just roll down your window, give me a thumbs up, and yell “keep going man, the SAQ is still open to six!”.
I have plenty more to share but both twins are fast asleep, which means I get to clean, catch up on TV shows, or start my homework? Have a great one!
As always I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely, Avi Tanny.