It has been a very tough past week for me. I have done two stand up comedy shows, and will be doing a third on Sunday. I did an open mic night at Burritoville, and another venue at a place called the ‘comedy gym’ in Ste Anne De Bellevue (I guess that would be considered and out of town show). I am doing my very first ‘clean’ show for the elderly this afternoon at the Montefiore residence. I am part of an organization called Love2Laugh who’s members go to certain organizations, and do shows there (long-term care, elderly homes, and so on).
I have also started my 3rd semester as a special care counselling student at Vanier College. A program where their is a 23:1 girl to guy ratio (poor me!). It is a great program but extremely challenging. However, particularly as a male, it very easy to find work once you complete the program. If you are lucky you can make well over $2,000 a year. Truth be told, we get paid ‘decently’. I also began my second stage at an Elderly Residence in Lasalle. On my second day I was honoured to be at least four peoples husbands, and I had never had such an easy time talking to women!
Luckily, my In-laws were generous, and helped out with the babysitting so I was able to do these shows. I often need them to help out as these shows have become more frequent (twice a week). People mostly asked “how much do you get paid?” The answer to that is, “Once I got paid enough to buy an entire beer”. Unfortunately, the scheduling was difficult this week. However, the bright side was that when I got to the daycare, ten minutes after closing, the babies were all dressed and ready to go!
On Friday my Mother picked up the babies, and I go to my parents just in time for Shabbat dinner. It was a terrible eating experience to be bluntly honest. If you have ever tried eating with a baby sitting on your lap, don’t complain until you have twin two year olds on your lap. We tried giving them some ‘containers’ to play with . The problem was that each twin wanted what the other twin had, and vice versa. Another problem with being from a small family of eleven is that unless you are an octopus, it may take awhile for food to actually get to you. Luckily, this particular Friday was small, and only eight people were at the table. The babies were extremely tired, and my one-handed-eating-coordination was not going well. At the table I blurted out to my dad “after seeing how hard it must have been to raise twin, I understand why you spent ten percent of the past twenty years on the toilet!”
Finally, after saying our ‘Jewish version’ of Grace, which would be OK, but not when you need to wait around for everyone to come back to the table. I’m not religious but I did thank God for making sure I did not have a nervous breakdown. After grace, it was time to head out. When it is -20 C outside, and you are walking on our beautifully plowed Montreal sidewalks, you can not wait to get home. Not many people move out of Montreal, because we are simply frozen to the ground!. I would have hopped on the warm smelly metro (or rather ‘bumped’ a double stroller down four flights of stairs, however, my Rabbi dad who was walking beside me would have likely objected to the sort of warm and logical reasoning.
When I got home the babies were fast asleep in their stroller, and leaving me in an incredible dilemma. If I wake them up, they are going to scream and cry, and I can’t leave them in the stroller all night. I took a few minutes to rest, and have some ‘toilet time’ . Parenting tip : when you have children, you ‘hole’ yourself up in the bathroom with a newspaper so nobody will bug you. I learn from the best! My dad has a library in his bathroom that would make a middle aged man truly envious. If you dared approach his bathroom, you’d be shot. OK, not shot! But you knew not to go within 15 feet of his bathroom.
Just as I began to relax, I saw a foot moving around in the stroller, and thought if I wake one up, i’ll put her on my bed, and she’ll fall asleep so the other twin will fall asleep right way. That is not at all what happened. I placed one baby on my bed (she usually sleeps next to me), and she went into a fit. She was screaming, yelling, crying, and doing some sort of weird acrobatic thing where she was hanging off the bed. It took about twenty minutes to calm her down, and of course as soon as she calmed down, guess who woke up? Yea, that is the life I live.
Enough with all the negative stuff. On the bright side I got to wake up with beautiful poop smelling baby next to me, and an entire bottle of formula poured on my mattress. I did get to spend Saturday morning with them, and besides stepping on an open face cream cheese sandwiches, everything worked out just fine. We watched their favourite movie the Flintstones, a movie were a kid goes around hitting people on the head with a baseball bat..hmmm is this really a good idea?.
After dropping them off at my in laws, I did a couple of short errands, caught up on some much needed rest, and found time to right this blog.. I’m pretty well rested for the week ahead. I have a busy school week, will once again dance with the elderly, and I’m off to Toronto next weekend for another comedy show.
Remember, be good to your children, it’s 2012.
Feel free to share this blog.
Sincerely,
Avi Tanny.