I wrote this several months ago:
Two to wash,
there’s two to dry,
there’s two who argue,
there’s two who cry.
One’s in the mud, having a ball,
the other holds a crayon, another marked wall.
Some days seem endless, my patience grows thin.
Why was I chosen me to be a father of twins?
The answer comes clear at the end of each day,
as I tuck them in bed and to myself I say…
There’s two to kiss, there’s two to hug;
and best of all, two to love
There are some changes from when I wrote this poem. Now I’m chasing them all over the house. It’s quite amusing, and hard not laugh when there’s two naked babies babbling and running around the hallway. Of course, the humor subsides when one them urinates on the floor. When I give them a bath, one will likely be smacking a bath toy against the other ones head. It wouldn’t be so bad if there wasn’t that ear to ear grin thing going on.
She’ll scream, and I’ll come ‘rescue’ her. The arguing has turned to egocentric babbling. “Merri no nice!” , and then the baby will scream and cry (or “Bella no nice!”). The crayons have long disappeared. They have been coloured with, and then consumed. Crayons taste way better then meals, and every toddler will concur (notably the red ones).
The mud still retains it’s novelty. Toddlers love dirt. My mother used to say ‘dirt makes you grow’. When I see people with very clean babies it depresses me. Children should be dirty. Not filthy, but dirty. They should roll around in the mud once in awhile. I love having a clean house, but coming from a family of eleven a clean house meant you took a shovel and dug your way in.
I’m not saying my house is a big sty. I’m saying if pigs for looking for a hotel for the weekend, they would likely vacation in it. Well OK, that is a pretty big exaggeration. Everyone knows pigs don’t stay in hotels. My house isn’t that messy sans the tomato sauce that is somehow on the kitchen ceiling. Sans the strewn about children’s toys and clothes.
Lazyness is one of my finer points. I was born large. So large that when I was born they placed me in an incubator. It wasn’t due to health. They were afraid I would eat the other babies!. I do my best to ensure that my twins are active. We go for these ‘strolls’ AKA running up and down the street in both directions chasing them. They have learned ‘stop’, and wait at intersections unlike the rest of Quebec.
Having twins is a blessing . For me it provides constant inspiration for my stand up comedy. I was told by a friend of mine “don’t look as children as a burden because it may be difficult to book shows and get out there, look at them as an inspiration”. I love that, and it still resonates with me. My experiences raising children will continue to be interesting, full of work, but most importantly humorous.
Today I had the opportunity to go for lunch with several of my comic friends. I brought the twins along, and they really enjoyed it. Children will enjoy any place where there is ice cream at their disposal. Or any food that makes a filthy mess all over the place. One thing one of the twins has developed is placing french fries in her apple juice, then sticking her hand in the cup and eating the apple juice fries?. Yuck.
Have a great everyone, and remember if a toddler wants to hold your hand, chances are its covered in sticky candy.