Will Rand run?

Some people feel every moment of 2014 takes Rand Paul (R-Ky.) closer to announcing a run for the Presidency in 2016.

Some people don’t feel that way at all.

Others still confuse Rand with Ron, vcialis 40mg his father, tadalafil and seek to confirm if Rand is short for Randall.

Even others question why Ron’s son, viagra Rand, combs his hair.

Rand Paul recently won a straw poll at a major Conservative Political Action Conference over some of his rivals, none of who have announced they are running for the Presidency in 2016. Rand told reporters that he has not made up his mind about a candidacy for the 2016 election, when his Senate seat expires.

However, Rand ran in the straw poll.

A person close to the Rand Paul family said, “The Pauls talked for three months before Rand decided to run in the straw poll. Family dinners were debates over the issue but Ron, Rand’s dad, finally told Rand he had better run in the straw poll or else. Rand never questioned the ‘else’ because his dad has always followed through on else matters.”

In an unauthorized biography of Rand Paul, titled “Rand And Rand We Go, Where We Stop, Only Pauls Know,” author Benjamin Hypothesis wrote: “Ron ran his family with a stealth stick of stubborn strength, which was another one of the many alliterations Ron loved to use when reigning over his wife and children. Rand trusted his dad because when Ron told the family something sternly with an alliteration, he always followed through.”

Ron Paul, of course, ran unsuccessfully for the Presidency a few times as a Libertarian in the Republican Party, gaining a mighty following for his views on governing that include little to no regard for global affairs and prioritizing the Federal Government into an efficient governing body that stays out of the lives of all citizens (or something like that).

Candidate Ron Paul became very popular with young voters who did not want to serve in the military, pay taxes or be arrested for smoking marijuana. Rand Paul claims he is also popular with young voters and that is important if he runs.

“I was with Rand at a speaking engagement where there were a lot of young people,” said one of Rand’s insiders, “and they were hooting and hollering every time he finished a sentence. There are a lot of youngsters out there that are disappointed with the Democrats and were told not to like Democrats even when they performed well. If Rand runs and gets their votes, it is going to be a slam-dunk.”

But Rand is not Ron and if Rand runs it won’t be like Ron’s run. Rand is not as strong a Libertarian as his dad. In foreign policy issues, for instance, Rand has said he would be more like George W. Bush.

A former Bush aide said, “Bush and Ron Paul did not agree on foreign policy. But Rand and George are alike, feeling that wherever there may be weapons of mass destruction, invasion is the answer.”

Another Rand Paul insider said, “Rand and George are big on Jesus, too, and that is getting into favor again these days because of that new Pope guy.”

Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) lost by a wide margin in the straw poll, getting only 11 percent to Paul’s 31 percent. Ben Carson was third, followed by Chris Christie, Scott Walker, Rick Santorum, Marco Rubio, Paul Ryan and Rick Perry, respectively.

A lot of Conservatives thought Christie would win by a wide margin due to the phrase “wide margin” but the Cruz supporters were not surprised when Cruz topped Christie, as well as Rubio, while both of the supporters for Santorum and Perry were in the same car pool and left the conference before the results were tallied.

“I don’t think there is any question that Rand will run,” said a political analyst that has for six elections correctly identified the Republican candidate before that candidate announced. “Rand’s run relies on Republican resolve to replicate rallies behind Reagan.”

An unreliable poll that pits Hillary Clinton against Rand Paul showed Paul behind by 77 points. In that same poll, Cruz, Christie, Walker, Santorum, Rubio and Ryan are behind with negative points, while no one has bothered to even match Perry against Clinton due to uncontrollable laughter.

 

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