In the wake of more controversy about America’s weakness around the globe, President Obama began a European tour of capitals to assure U.S. allies that the U.S. is an ally. The stops were in Poland, Belgium and France.

The trip was much like the trip made last month to Japan and South Korea to remind the allies that we are an ally.

A press deputy for the President said, “The latest stops are to assure these countries that the President didn’t run out of U.S. support when he stopped at allied countries in Asia. The U.S. has enough support to go around.”

An Air Force One co-pilot confirmed that the President had “taken along all of the support that Air Force One could carry without having to throw weighty objects out of the aircraft to keep flying safely.

Air Force One flew first to Belgium via a route that takes the plane over Kenya. In Belgium, the President gave a strong speech about America’s obligation to supporting freedom in the region. In a letter to Belgium government leaders, the President wrote: “We have not forgotten the amazing contributions you have made to freedom in Europe, which are far, far more than the creation of those famous waffles served across the fruited plane.”

One Belgium government leader said, “It is good to know that they serve fruit with the waffles on Air Force One and it makes me and other Belgium leaders feel more secure. We did not know Air Force One was a fruited plane. We thought the waffles were served with butter only.”

Western leaders were buzzing about Russia’s meddling in the politics of the Ukraine and are looking to Washington for support.

“Ukrainian President-elect Petro Poroshenko has come to Poland to meet with President Obama,” said a press deputy for the Polish government. “Regardless of how Americans like to joke, it does not take many Polish people to spell ‘Poroshenko’.”

The White House says Obama emphasizes U.S. support for Poroshenko’s incoming government. “We want to see Poroshenko unify the Ukraine with inspiring words,” said one of Obama’s press deputies. “But we would much more enjoy if he socked Vladimir Putin in the nose and maybe broke it.”

A spokesperson for Poroshenko’s incoming government said, “When a government is still incoming, it has many things to do to settle before it can take a stand in public. Like furniture. Some incoming governments may need new furniture but Poroshenko is comfortable coming in as and incoming government leader to use the furniture he already owns. Once the incoming government has come in, then Poroshenko will begin to inspire the people and have secret talks about socking Putin in the nose and maybe broke it [sic].”

In Paris, French President Francois Hollande and Obama met for ceremonies commemorating D-Day.

“It was supposed to be a ceremony on Omaha Beach,” said a French government press deputy, “but it was too confusing for many French people. The combination of the names Obama and Omaha when translated into French in the same sentence did not make any sense.”

Sam Selubet, a journalist covering the trip for a Conservative newspaper commented on the venue change. “We feel there’s a cover up of the Obama-Omaha problem. The President probably wanted the French to change the name of Omaha Beach to Obama Beach in a desperate political move to assure his legacy in the region after he leaves office.”

At each stop, Obama gave a major speech to reaffirm the U.S. commitment to NATO members in Europe. In a major speech in Warsaw, Obama explained to NATO members that NATO means North Atlantic Treaty Organization and not Never Answer To Obama, as say the President’s foreign policy critics.

“That speech didn’t help him overseas,” said a staff member of Andrew Kuchins, director of the Russia and Eurasia program at the nonpartisan Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington. “We know that our organization, of the Russia and Eurasia program at the nonpartisan Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington, has too long a name for allies to remember and we are trying to make it easier on them so they may find some value in the President’s speeches.

Ekstein Beligerant, a foreign policy blogger, said, “Europeans are worried that Washington will neglect European security issues. Actually, they blame Obama, who they feel is ready to put boots on the ground if Kenya has a security problem.

“Donald Trump’s trip to Europe,” wrote Beligerant in a blog, “warned many people here that the President’s birth certificate may be a major global security problem. He made a good point.”

The President said, “The work is not done in terms of securing a Europe that is whole, free and at peace.”

“When we heard that,” said a French government official who claimed he was speaking for President Hollande, “we immediately told each of our mistresses to arm themselves.

“One thing is for sure,” said an insider close to Sen. John McCain, “we better start bombing someone soon or no one in Europe will trust our foreign policy.”

Susan Rice, Pope Francis and George Soros were unavailable for comment.


Check out more from Frank Cotolo on his official website

Frank’s books are for sale via



No Comments

Be the first to start a conversation

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *