President Obama looks at Republicans and points into his ear as he shows them where the information goes in before it goes out the other.

President Obama looks at Republicans and points into his ear as he shows them where the information goes in before it goes out the other.

WASHINGTON, ask D.C./Frank Cotolo – Republicans saw their victories in the mid-term election as a huge statement on the policies of President Obama and so they are balking in two weeks later when the President says he is going to stick to his own agenda in the remaining two years of his term.

“Why isn’t he listening?” said an assistant to House Speaker John Boehner. “The Speaker would say the same thing if you talked with him. I am just echoing what the Speaker is saying to more important news sources, check his fellow congressmen, his many siblings and the people who clean his office. Don’t just look at the election, look at the President’s approval rating.”

It’s not a good number, most agree, even though low numbers are a way of life for Presidents in their second terms.

His approval rating has dipped “below freezing level,” according to Hobart “Hurricane” Keychain, a radio-station meteorologist. “Even though it reads forty-eight percent, it feels like thirty-one percent, just like the temperature outdoors is one number but feels like another.”

Fitzwilly Marakesh, a conservative blogger supported by Churnaway USA, a company that sells only American cheese, wrote about the mid-term and the President.

“Americans have spoken by electing candidates that oppose Obama’s policies. Some of them even admit to thinking his ears are too far out of his head. But the important thing here is that those ears, which do stick out of his thin head, are not accepting the sounds of the American people who voted. Big ears that don’t listen, even when they hear, are not the kinds of body parts we want on an American President.”

The incoming majority is gnawing at the bit to get to work quickly and dowse whatever the President will try to do before they are sworn in and by executive action.

“He thinks he can give amnesty to five million illegal immigrants,” said a local Texas congressman who spoke under the condition of anonymity, which for him is a pre-existing condition. “That isn’t something anyone but God can do and it says so or implies so or refers to or insinuates that in the Constitution. It’s not true when they say that amnesty makes the heart grow fonder, you know?”

At least sixteen new and old Republican congressmen are meeting secretly, though we are reporting it, to begin a major campaign to “repeal everything the President signed since coming into office.”

A source that also knew of the secret meetings told us that the repeal-everything movement wants to review all of the laws the President signed and have a vote to repeal them all.

“Not just that awful health-care bill,” said Republican Party Associate Member Sidney Califlour, “but the Improving Medicare Post-Acute Care Transformation Act, the Paul D. Wellstone Muscular Dystrophy Community Assistance, Research and Education Act, the Gabriella Miller Kids First Research Act …” Califlour went on to list at least sixty more while we went to lunch.

I had a turkey, lettuce and tomato sandwich on wheat bread with a side of cole slaw and coffee. My assistant had a cheese omelet and the man sitting next to us who asked for my autograph had scrambled eggs, bacon and toast, which cost more because the breakfast menu ended at ten a.m.

When we returned to the Republican Party office, Califlour said, “ … the Hazardous Waste Electronic Manifest Establishment Act, the St. Croix River Crossing Project Authorization Act …” and we left him while he was still listing legislation.

A Democrat blogger known only as Stiffenpuff, responded to the notion that Congress could make a lame duck President lamer.

“The President is listening and that is why he is standing his ground,” Stiffenpuff wrote. “The Republicans feel that all the things they complained about should be supported by the President now that they are the majority because that would make Obama look weak, distraught and grim, like a conservative. Then, the Republicans could try to make the public believe that Ted Cruz’s IQ is not as low as the President’s approval rating.”

When asked what may happen if the President stays at odds with the majority of Republicans in Congress, veteran and award-winning journalist C. Mobray Collins said, “We’ll see.”



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