BUNKER,Kansas/Isacc Icertonopolis for Political Pulp — To the surprise of journalists and reporters within the media, the seemingly not-so-recent announcement made by Donald Trump regarding his bid for the United States presidency has flooded all of the radio/television/online news networks.
Some members of the media have entered into the coverage blind and recently called an emergency meeting to plot out specific guidelines for news coverage of Donald Trump’s campaign.
The meeting was held at an undisclosed location identified as Buford, Wyoming.
Among the attendees was graphic mogul Dennis Tamperton, who has created headline graphics for CNN, BBC, and MEBNC, a middle-eastern broadcast news company still looking for subscribers to help it break even this month.
“Saying we were blindsided by Trump would be an understatement,” Tamperton said. “Trump has taken away from coverage time for issues like gun control and has also cut into the hours of pharmaceutical advertisements the stations play during slow days.”
Dennis is a close associate to the man behind the meeting, Miles Meeting.
“I have had enough of Trump’s face on every end of the media scene, most recently when he tried to out-sass Anderson Cooper,” Meeting said about the meaning behind the meeting of journalists and broadcasters. “We have about a hundred people here and I sent out invitations to people that would bring attention to this meeting, including media stars Megan Kelly, Anderson Cooper and Brian Williams. I heard somewhere that they were coming. Probably from Brian.”
Kurt Rollingcoal was in charge of taking attendance at the meeting. He said that there was no record of Megan Kelly, Anderson Cooper or Brian Williams being present. He added that, to his surprise, Williams did not attend but speculates that once news of this meeting hits the public, Williams will claim to have been present.
“Kurt must be lying,” Meeting said. “I swear I saw one of them during our debate session. I think it was [Brian] Williams. He’s a sneaky guy, you know.”
When asked about the objective of the meeting, Miles Meeting froze for a second.
“Well, you see how Trump has been reckless with his press appearances, questioning the integrity of the Mexican culture and such. This behavior seems to be continuing through this election cycle and could become the primary news story without proper planning and time blocking. Sure, we don’t know where this is going but neither does Trump. He can make things up as he goes along but it’s important that we be the judges about what is important when anything when it hits.”
According to Rollingcoal, of the 100 people there, only one was a journalist. Meeting exiled him from the meeting hours after meeting. That journalist’s name is Charles Lazerinski, if we are to believe the person who wrote that his name is Charles Lazerinski.
“I didn’t see any issue with Trump being on television,” Lazerinski allegedly said. “It’s not that grave a deal that his arbitrary statements result in news time. That’s how it has been and will be for the rest of time. Besides, it’s a fun ride.”
When asked about Lazerinski and his opinion that Trump’s campaign is a “fun ride,” Meeting says that if he were at the amusement park with the “fun ride” that is Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, he would not wait on line to ride it.
As for the other 15 Republican candidates, Meeting said that each of them has formed a committee to create outrageous statements that may be able to share a few moments of news time with Trump stories.
Karl Rove was unavailable for comment.
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