WASHINGTON, D.C.— Unrevealed sources close to reporters serving at the pleasure of investigative journalists’ undercover bureau chiefs are alleging that surveillance of the Vatican possibly puts Pope Francis’ election to the papal position under scrutiny.

In this shocking near-revelation that is still an unverified situation, the notion is that Pope Francis’ private residence and the residence of the former Pope, who still lives in the Vatican, was infiltrated with cutting-edge spying equipment that recorded audio of major Vatican figures, before Pope Francis was given the papal honors.

Trickling from the secret sources fueling this blockbuster report, a member of a friend of someone working at MI6, Britain’s secret intelligence service, are indications that Pope Benedict XVI had “connections with the cardinal elector” in the papal conclave that elected Pope Francis.

“This could mean that for the first time in history a Pope was not elected but selected,” said an Italian blogger who reports news and opinions on Vatican happenings but never uses his real name, “and of course, that could mean the Russians are involved.”

Someone involved who would not identify his or herself but claimed to know things that others did not about the allegation said, “This is obvious part of a conspiracy to find out how the Vatican gets in touch with the Almighty, which tools it uses to do so and what language it employs while directly communicating with God.”

Richard Skeleton, who uses that name when writing about the Vatican, heard of the report and wrote on his blog that “this could have happened and if it did happen it happened with the help of a mole, a Catholic mole, someone who works in Vatican City and who may have an idea that Pope Benedict was assist in the coup.”

Calling it a “coup” would mean a massive revolt of the centuries-old organization that has operated the Catholic Church from Vatican City.

“This could go as deep as deep can go,” said Vatican City talk-show host Rusho Limbarto on his broadcast just after the allegations were made. “Whosoever can penetrate how the Pope communicates with the Almighty would get information that could affect the entire world. The far left has some answering to do if any of this is true because if it is true, they did it, for sure, you can count on that.”

Reporters trying to get to Pope Francis to ask how he felt about the report did not reach him. The Pope was out of town on a mission of mercy. Former Pope Benedict would not answer his phone or make a public statement. Of course he rarely answers his phone, anyway.

And there were no tweets on Pope Frances’ Twitter account that indicated he knew about the report.

“We looked everywhere,” said Rico Miserable, a member of the Vatican City security team, “and found nothing. No wires, no electronic equipment in the walls. Nothing in the lamps or behind the mirrors. Nothing under the thick rugs or in the private bathroom showerhead or medicine cabinet. Nothing anywhere.”

The originators of the report said that the “wiretaps” revealed conversations between Benedict and Cardinals that revealed Francis, as a papal candidate, had been to the Woodstock rock festival and who had requested an autograph from Neil Armstrong, first man on the moon, when Armstrong returned to Earth.

“The Russians could have done this,” said a surveillance specialist. “What is worse, of course, is if it was Spectre.” He referred to the fictional criminal organization from the James Bond novels. “It’s possible that it was a rogue organization’s doing, some company testing new hardware or software and maybe in their underwear. It’s impossible to tell.”

No further information on the alleged invasion of privacy at the Vatican has come to the attention of the media. In fact, the original report is being underplayed by the media, mostly due to their liberal, judgmental attitudes about religion, according to Indigo Malaysia, a former priest now Checkers champion of Iowa.

“Finally,” Malaysia says, “there comes a story, albeit probably false, about an attack on faithful people and the press wants nothing to do with it. Imagine if it was the other way around? Then you would hear noise.”

Newt Gingrich was unavailable for comment.

 

E-books:

Frank’s novellas –Sweet Shepherd, Man of La Mantra, License To Skill—and selected poetry—Words Worth Shelly—are available at Amazon.

Check out more from Frank Cotolo on his official website http://www.148.ca/frank

Frank’s novella, ‘Sweet Shepherd’ is now available in e-book format at Amazon.

Other books by Frank are for sale via http://www.148.ca/frank/pvc.html

WASHINGTON, D.C.— The core of candidate Trump’s early support was not Republicans in office. Nationwide and statewide GOP members were mostly agreed that Mr. Trump was not their choice for President and with a score of candidates going for the nomination, anti-Trump Republicans felt safe trashing the brash businessman.

Things change. With the GOP candidate winning the general election and the party taking full control of the House and Senate, the anti-Trump voices have turned to fervent supporters.

“After only a brief time in office,” said a spokesman for a GOP leader in Alabama, “President Trump has clearly defined his policies and put his foot down concerning true conservative values. I am so sorry I called him a skunk when I thought Rick Santorum would be a better President. Clearly, Santorum is a loggerhead compared to Trump.”

Destiny Stillworth, a conservative blogger who wrote extensively against Trump when he trashed Rand Paul in a debate, is now writing sterling words about the new President. “Though I wrote worse things about Chris Christie than I did about Trump,” she wrote recently, “I did come down hard on Donald, especially when I used asterisks for the word ‘c***s*****.’ At the time, I was angry and backing Huckabee. I am now ashamed, since it is Huckabee who turned out to be the c***s*****.”

In Pennsylvania, where Trump barely won Electoral College votes that helped him go over the top, GOP opposition was powerful up until the state went red. Then, people like Gaul Whitehammer, who ran a few local Republican clubs that wrote in Jeb Bush’s name for every GOP position on the ballot, went public with praise for Trump.

“I told everyone that because Trump won it meant Trump must be great,” he said to a local newspaper. “I was right, too, because he has done everything the man said he was going to do and he has done it so quickly that I don’t know how he kept up with the keeping of promises. I was so wrong about him and I pray every day for forgiveness.”

“What was I thinking?” said GOP candidate for a sheriff in a small Wisconsin area. “There are photos of me with signs for Cruze. They will be on the Internet forever. My wife was for Trump. We argued and when he won she laughed and left me.”

Stanislov Rubkowski, whose parents live in the Ukraine, said, “I was born here and I will die here, even if my parents cannot immigrate to this country and I will serve President Trump even though I was the head of the Trump-Is-A-Russian-Spy Club during the primaries. Yes, I suspected he was in cahoots with Putin when ran for borough president in Brooklyn, urging people to vote for Ted Cruze. I lost my bid for the office and then Trump won and I thought to myself, oh my goodness, there will be millions of people showing up for the inauguration and I will have been wrong and there were millions of people there, even Trump said so. Today, I live on the streets and I beg for my food and for President Trump to succeed in lowering the national debt.”

Newt Gingrich was not available for comments.

 

E-books:

Frank’s novellas –Sweet Shepherd, Man of La Mantra, License To Skill—and selected poetry—Words Worth Shelly—are available at Amazon.

Check out more from Frank Cotolo on his official website http://www.148.ca/frank

Frank’s novella, ‘Sweet Shepherd’ is now available in e-book format at Amazon.

Other books by Frank are for sale via http://www.148.ca/frank/pvc.html

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Since President Trump has taken a rapid approach to addressing his campaign promises with executive orders, the polls have been scattered with various opinions for, against and indifferent about his actions.

However, there are other polls that indicate vast groups of U.S. citizens have lost their focus on President Trump’s early aggression.

A Sparkard-Williams poll asked if President Trump’s policy on a temporary ban of immigrants from seven different countries was fair or bias. There were 62 percent that said the temporary ban was fair “as long as it wasn’t permanent,” while 18 percent said it was a bias act against Muslims “and those who had names that rhymed with Muslim names. Ten percent polled said that no one else on Earth should be allowed into the U.S., while six percent said they were happy that President Trump was uniting the country and four percent responded by saying they thought part of any vetting process should include immigrants using “Ban,” the 24-hour odor and wetness protection roll-on deodorant.

Another poll, this one from the unverified Kriptor and Dullbottom outfit, asked only Trump voters if they were satisfied with the President’s order to repeal and replace Obamacare (the Affordable Care Act). A whopping 88 percent responded yes, get rid of Obamacare, while eight percent said they thought it was called “adorable health care” so replace it with the name they thought was the name of the act. There were four percent that said it should be repealed, replaced and renewed.

Remarkably, the Cake-Walker poll revealed that 93 percent of the people asked if President Trump was doing a good job responded yes, with seven percent saying no because “doing a good job” should include having already established world peace.

The Scint-Wagner-Plump-Mallard Poll released a poll indicating that 57 percent of respondents do not like the President’s order that instructs agencies to abolish two regulations for every new one they add. The remaining 43 percent said it was fake news.

The Walla-Walla-Sisk-Goom-Bada Poll about how Press Secretary Sean Spicer explained executive orders to the public revealed that 91 percent thought that Sean Spicer was the actor who played Dr. Frankenstein in the movie, “Van Helsing.” The remaining nine percent assured pollsters that they would like to see that movie again to agree or disagree with the 91 percent that were sure Sean Spicer was the actor who played Dr. Frankenstein in the movie, “Van Helsing.”

“We are seeing that after a bitter general election,” says Reinhold Beerhead, a professor at Stagefright University, “people are not too interested in following the progress of the candidate for whom they voted.”

As it turns out, Beerhead may be correct. P.S. Piginablanket’s Poll, taken using random people on the streets of U.S. cities, confirmed that a majority of people claimed they were too busy to find out details of the new administration’s policies because “getting enough sleep is more important.”

Other polls show that the country is split 50-50 about sleep being more important than following the new administration’s policies.

A munificence of polls has surfaced since pollsters memorized the definition of munificence. A poll asking if people knew about the munificence of polls revealed that most people polled are yet to memorize the definition of munificence.

“One thing is for sure,” said an employee of the Wrap-A-Dap-Dapper Poll, “and that is most people that voted for Trump are so confident he will do all the things he said he would do, though many of them only remember one or two of those things and that it doesn’t matter anyway because they want Trump to do them.”

Democrats, still struggling to understand why Trump won, recently used the Yellow Brick Road Poll to find out. That poll, oddly enough, came back with mixed results indicating that some people disliked Hillary Clinton, others despised Hillary Clinton and the last third could not remember if there was a Simpsons episode including a cartoon image of her.

Seltzer Briggans, author of the book “Polls, how they are counted and why they count for anything,” to be published later in the century, said, “We should trust who is telling the truth when he or she is polled but more and more, those who do not benefit from the polls distrust anyone who does not take their side. This means that we know those who distrust polls because they do not take their side are not to be trusted. This is in a chapter of my book, just before I discuss the discrepancy between answering yes or no in a poll and how . . .”

At that point, Briggans left the interview.

Newt Gingrich was available for comments.

 

E-books:

Frank’s novellas –Sweet Shepherd, Man of La Mantra, License To Skill—and selected poetry—Words Worth Shelly—are available at Amazon.

Check out more from Frank Cotolo on his official website http://www.148.ca/frank

Frank’s novella, ‘Sweet Shepherd’ is now available in e-book format at Amazon.

Other books by Frank are for sale via http://www.148.ca/frank/pvc.html